Nawlins Bike Thief

If you stole the spray painted, piece-of-shit, blue cruiser from the corner of Orleans and Burgundy last night then FUCK YOU!!! If you are that desperate and pathetic to steal that junker you should just save everyone the trouble of your existence and jump off the fucking bridge. I’ve never lived in such a trashy place my entire life and everyone here wonders why nobody came to this place’s fucking rescue after the storm. I took that bike to work everyday to fucking City Hall to help rebuild this city and then this is what the thanks looks like. To whoever is the ‘proud’ new owner of that bike, I hope you get hit by a fucking car and that it doesn’t kill you and you spend the rest of your life shitting your pants while some morbidly obese sicko wipes your ass and touches you inappropriately because you can’t move your fucking arms and legs. Then I hope you look out your window at the fucking blue cruiser that you will never ride again and cry yourself to sleep.