Walmart Grocery Cart Collision Course

You’ve seen it. Those sweet, lovely customers who toss their cast-off grocery carts into oblivion, causing this four wheel steel contraption to slam into the side of a car of its choice. This letter is to the jack-offs of a white 2005 Buick Le Sabre (or what ever piece of shit you just financed is) that was locating at the Super Walmart on Murfreesboro Road here in Nashville, Tennessee. Yeah you, fuck wipe.
Thank you for slamming that grocery cart into the side of my car. If this were a pure accident and you would have been a considerate adult initating a conscience effort to remove the said basket from my door, then I wouldn’t be here calling you a pig sniffing, goat scratching, chicken licking, toad groping dog molester. But no, you and your redneck wannabe wife sat there cowering in your semi-new car (you had temp tags on it) watching me until I took off. WTF? Do you and your wife masterbate to seeing women such as myself become upset at such a violatiion? Perhaps. Oh, I’m sorry you had no balls nor did your wife have the social graces to say, “I’m sorry. Please let me remove that cart. We didn’t mean to do that.” If you would have made that simple gesture I would have smiled and said, “No problem.”

But it’s all good. I mean, I’m sure your act of kindness will return in the form of deer urine poured in the backseat or a quick, effortless placement of limburger cheese in the vents of the air condioning system. But hey, I’m a nice person. The person who WILL repay you such kindness will the next guy in a Walmart parking lot that you piss off from your total lack of consideration.