*in a girly voice* OH-EM-GEE ITS ROBERT PATTINSON!!! OH-EM-GEE ITS TAYLOR LAUTNER!!! *regular voice* SHUT UP!!!! I am tired of dealing with the screaming fangirls when i set up the display at the walmart where i work. I am tired of hearing your voices echo those of the lines from the book. I am tired [...]
Hi, I work with Mimvi Games, Inc http://www.mimvigames.com – We’d like to make a free custom game search engine for you to allow your users to search for mobile game apps on your site. We can share revenue if you’re interested. Mobile game app search results are for the iPhone, iPod Touch, Android and Blackberry [...]
Hi, I work with Mimvi Games, Inc http://www.mimvigames.com – We’d like to make a free custom game search engine for you to allow your users to search for mobile game apps on your site. We can share revenue if you’re interested. Mobile game app search results are for the iPhone, iPod Touch, Android and Blackberry [...]
thank you. thank you for being so concerned with following the law to the damn letter and making sure i do the same. thank you for being SOO concerned with the betterment of society. “hey we all have places to be buddy” “hey you dont OWN the road” “oh you think you’re SOOO important, passing [...]
What the fuck? You literally lie to my face and fucked that skinny ass no tits bitch. I told you to even be with her SHIT!!! Oh and good job getting caught in a fucking lie! Your fucking Fail at killing your self so you should just shut the fuck up and grow a pair. [...]
Dear customer, you should not be allowed to buy a phone you don’t know how to use. You spend almost a thousand dollars on a device and do not know how to turn the fucking thing off. Dear customer do you have an education level above seventh grade? General math anyone? Please, Please! people who [...]
Hi again! Remember me? Oh, that’s right, we didn’t actually meet! But we do know each other. You see it was just the other week that you somehow managed to back up into the side of my car before continuing to drive off merrily. Oh, what a surprise I had when I can back and [...]
Towards the end of our relationship you treated me like shit. All of a sudden you just decided to cut me out completely. I had strong feelings of doubt about “us” too, but the difference is that I was willing to at least try and talk through those feelings; to work towards how we used [...]
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To that bitch who cant get the fuck over her ex boyfriend. Just because you fucking broke up with his ass and a little while later goes out with me doesnt fucking mean i stole him from under you i hope you know your the fucking reason why i cant see my best friend you [...]
Don’t come and bitch me out because I can’t give you your money back on something you bought 2 years ago. Its 90 days asshole.
Spellcheck is not foul proof. Double check word meaning before you submit a paper that says “cite” instead of “site” so you don’t sound like a moron and I don’t have to spend time in my day correcting your mistake!
When idiotic morons sign up for classes “because they seem easy” even though it is in no way related to their major and you can’t get into the one class you need to graduate because of them!
I love how you pretend to just LOVE this band. And you know so much about them, quoting their songs and everything. Acting like you discovered them. Have I heard of them? Yeah, I was the one who sent their music videos. You wouldn’t even know about them if it wasn’t for me! Don’t try [...]
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Whatcha think about my Rants??
Over the last few years I’ve noticed a growing trend among dog owners: they seem to be spending a lot of money on their dogs. Getting them things like expensive clothes, hair accessories and beauty products. They all seem to foget one thing… IT’S A FUCKING DOG!!! Not a doll, not a fashion trend, not [...]
Fuck you god danm idiotic fucking ass holes blasting your fucking favorite song out your little car. I hope you die out of pure stupidity. I HOPE YOU REALIZE YOUR IN A PUBLIC PARK ASSWIPES!!! children are playing people are flying kites and you. You are being an ass to everyone around you. NO ONE [...]
you know what google……FUCK YOU UP THE ASS WITH A RAZOR LACED DILDO!! u fucked up youtube beyond belief i mean u kick people off of ur site who are doing a pretty damn good job of bringen people there and u take off ALL the good videos cus of some copywrite BS and also [...]
You come here EVERY MONDAY. I know, because I come here every Monday, and I see you. So you should know that when you’re standing in front of the cash register, and the cashier tells you your total, that’s when you give her your money or your AmEx! Not bat your eyes at your insipid [...]
You guys should make a rant about people who don’t pay their phone bills…then call months later raising hell because they have a past due balance! I mean come on people, pay your f%#king bills! ^–this is what i deal with on a daily! ugh fml
I don’t care. I just really don’t. And I’ll let you in on a little secret: NONE OF US REALLY DO. Not being masochists, we did accept that taking this job meant we’d have to be nice and helpful to you and your overprivileged demon children. But that does not mean that you can abandon [...]
dear mom n new dad i m so fucking tiered of having to hear you to having sex in the basment expesaily when the basment has fucking vents throw the whole house . do you think i like hearing you have sex when i hav to take a piss at night n when i make [...]
A lady calls Dr. Laura because a neighbor always asks things like, “do black people like x” or “is it OK with black people to do x?”. She was mad about these questions but I know I’d be stoked to clarify the bigotry rules so I’m not caught in any racist ambiguity. If Dr. Laura [...]
Okay. I get that. You’re smart and you “know what’s best”. But you don’t know me. You don’t know who I am. So will you quit pretending that you’re some sort of messenger from the angels? Cut the “I’m-Only-Doing-The-Best-For-You” act. We both know if you were doing this best for me, you would find it [...]
Fuck you Twilight series. you ruined the vampire franchise. For one, vampires aren’t ment to fucking sparkle when hit by sunlight; They are supposed to fucking ignited and melt or incinerate it to a small pile of ash. But now I guess some lonely woman had have some homoerotic fantasy a bout gay vampires that [...]
Fuck you. You make me get up at 6:30 in the morning, during summer, to go to fucking school. I go to get my schedule and I end up having to sit on the floor like a fucking toddler and hear a bout all the wonderful things at Hiram Johnson for 3 hours. I just [...]
FUCK YOU. when i subscribed to you, i looked forward to maybe one to two shows. BUT YOU JUST HAVE TO FLOOD MY IN-BOX EVERY SINGLE FUCKING DAY WITH CRAP!!! you used to be cool and make funny videos. now all you do is publish some half-assed video of a fucking 8 year old playing [...]
Seriously. What is the appeal of those stupid little shaped pieces of plastic?! I understand that the story of the inventor is heatwarming…blah, blah, blah. A bracelet that looks remotely like whatever it is supposed to (and takes twenty minutes to figure out exactly what it is)? Spend your money on something better for yourself [...]
This is the third time you’ve done this. The THIRD time. We all know you had a fight with one of your friends. It shows up on our news feeds. And yet, everytime you have one of your little arguments, I see that you’ve joined like, 6 pages that are like “Which face should I [...]
I had to go to six different super markets to find it- cookie dough/cake batter ice cream. The last one left. I grab it and belt home to let it marinate in its cookie-cake deliciousness in the fridge. I take a nap for a few hours. And when I wake up…MY COOKIE DOUGH CAKE BATTER [...]
I walked into my usual hair salon. Everyone looked nice. The same short old lady who cut my hair before is cutting it again. And she’s always nice. I ask her for an asymmetrical cut that looks really cute online. I tell her, “Short on this side, and long on this side.” *snip snip snip* [...]
Forgetting. Fucking forgetting. You always seem to forget the most important stuff right? Just like how I bought my mom a new car and forgot to give her the keys before I moved away. To Alaska. Just like how I forgot to tell my stupid boyfriend that I was dumping him before I went out [...]
Oh there you go, all yellow yellow, buzzing around like some sort of miniature lawn mower that injects poison into you. Don’t you pretend that I don’t know what you are. I know you’re here to sting me. Your yellow and black stripes just confirm it. Obviously you were in prison, with your black and [...]
Look at you…with your white hair and your plastic bubble or whatever dress…WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE? With your AutoTuned “hits”. There are people with ACTUAL TALENT OUT THERE! ACTUAL TALENT! Like for example, I was in Boston and I saw a street singer who had more talent in is thumbnail then you have [...]
Okay. You’re hot. You know it. You have that killer British accent, the skinny jeans, Converse, graphic tees. But is there any reason I can see the inside of your nostrils every time you walk by? Are you trying to sniff that smell of SNOOTY that’s stinking from your entire body? (Gosh, your lucious body…) [...]
Hey you there, mister. I saw you checking out that lady’s butt when she walked by. Don’t even try to wipe that creepy smile off your face as you fantasize in your mind. You are a freaking loser. Don’t you have a mother or something? Would you like some subway pervert checking out HER butt [...]
Gosh, who do you think you are? Not everything bad in this world happens to you. Don’t go making these tiny little situations into huge omigosh the world is going to end like a five year old kid. If you wouldn’t mind, SHUT UP! Is this making you cry? Is this hurting your feelings? GOOD. [...]
What’s your rant?
This may be a revelation to you, but people do not like being corrected every time they open their mouths. Yea, you’re some kind of scientist or physicist or whatever. If you were so smart, what are you doing working with us here? I’m sorry the rest of the world does not revolve around you [...]
What is it with you? Oh, your the only person in the world, right? I’m writing up an order and you actually try to take the pen out of my hand while I’m writing because you’re too fucking lazy to get your own? You asshole! Then when I’m working on the computer, you just say, [...]
Ok look you might have been depressed when you were a teenager and I understand that it hurt really I do, trust me, but you weren’t clinically depressed. If you were clincally depressed you would still be now. You wanna know why?! CLINICAL DEPRESSION IS AN EFFING DISEASE!! God, let me sit you down and [...]
Thank you bad drivers. Because of you, I have nearly gotten into many accidents and have became late for work, school, and my other extracurricular activities. Whether it’s because of you going 20 miles above the speed limit or 20 miles below the speed limit you have made me a very unhappy person. However, even [...]
Dear Friend, I appreciate a good perverted joke at the right time. I’ll laugh, even. Sure, if it’s funny enough. But nooo, you fucking have to say “That’s what she said” every five seconds. Sometimes it doesn’t even make sense. I can be talking about a nice shirt I saw at the store and you’ll [...]
… when will I LEARN? OK, Ladies, there is a new rule in town. (Sorry guys, I don’t hang out with enough of you to have a proper rant. Wait yer turn.) NO ONE IS TO ASK ME FOR TIPS ABOUT LOSING WEIGHT OR FIXING YOUR CREDIT SCORE EVER AGAIN. Know why? Cause the first [...]
At what point did I ever specify that I wanted your company? Do you have some unrelenting obsession with wanting to talk to random strangers for no real reason? I don’t understand what possessed you to ask what I was reading. If you want to talk to someone than call your friends on your cell [...]
Hey, you i was about to say thanks for adding my art to your favorites when i decided to check how far back in your favorites it was. i had received this message that you faved my work a few minutes ago, so i assume i would see my art there on the first page [...]
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If it wasn’t bad enough that people are less intelligent these days than they ever have been, there are those part of a huge group that really prove that point. Like this one time I was at work. There was a Out of Order sign on one of the frozen drink machines. I watched this [...]
So there I was doing some late night shopping after I was at work from 6AM until 12 midnight. It was simple. Barely anyone there so I could run in and get out real snappy. I remember it vividly. All I needed was peanut butter. Once I had found my awesome, amazing peanut butter I [...]
You loser. LEave me alone and get a life before i put a restraining order on you. You want me to do you way too much at it’s gross and wrong. I have a boyfriend okay?? I don’t even have time to do you anyway. You smell like dead trees and ink, it’s nauseating. The [...]
Dear various Starbucks baristas. I know that my name isn’t average like Lauren or Jane or Sarah. But really? Every time I order something, my name is spelled wrong. C-A-R-O-L-Y-N! It’s fairly common! No ‘K’s and no ‘I’s! And when I’m willing to pay the 3 dollars and 80-fucking-5 cents, all I want is a [...]
So you spend hours picking out what color, then spend another 30 minutes removing previous nail polish. MAKE SURE TO GO TO THE BATHROOM. Because as every woman knows, the SECOND you get done painting your nails you WILL have to pee unless you do so before you start. So you sit there and paint [...]
I love you ALL. every last bit of you three fucktards. I love how you think that just because you beat me in a video game which F.Y.I isn’t real you automatically assume that you’re better than me even tough, I’m the younger sibling and went to college, and is a damn lawyer than you [...]
My aunt said this on facebook and I thought it would be a good rant!: Female customer at Walmart wearing a black bikini top & denim daisy duke cut-off shorts. Trust me, “No one wants to see you bring your milkshake to the yard anymore! Your over 60, Grandma!!Your boobs need a lift, your butt [...]
Thank You for nearly killing me today as you slammed on your breaks and swerved to the yellow line and while you casually glanced in your rear view mirror before grabbing your piece of shit cell phone and responding to that text message… Yes you, you ignorant asshole with the cellphone. As you peek at [...]
We used to be semi- cool with each other until you dropped like 50 IQ points and started mooching off me for homework. The weird thing is that you used to be smarter than me… You pushed it when you started trying to cheat off me on tests. So yea I put down the most [...]
Ok, seriously, I don’t even know where to start. WHY DO PEOPLE WEAR THESE?? It’s not cool. It’s not stylish. It’s not cute. It’s fucking stupid. Like, ok, thanks for saying “hi” and “bye” to me and thanks for assuming I hate you. But you’re right, I DO HATE YOU. BUT ONLY BECAUSE YOU’RE WEARING [...]
I could not care less what kind of computer you use. Your choice of operating system does not inform my opinion about you as a person. Obviously, you don’t feel the same way, if your glaring at my MacBook in the food court was any indication. I get it, you’re one of those PC fanboys [...]
You know who you are. The people who instead of saying hello, you ask how are you but keep walking. When you ask “How are you?” Expect a freaking response! Don’t ask and keep doing what you are doing. Since you asked that I should stop you and go on a 20 minute long story [...]
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Oh my. Where do I begin with this? First of all, you give my brother less chores than you give me. YES, I understand that he is younger and not as mature, but he’s twelve! Come on, he can handle a little work! Second, I’d really appreciate it if you would stop harping at me [...]
To my ‘friend’. You know who you are. If I told you that my phone was missing two months ago and I found it the very next day and I DIDN’T tell you, there is a reason. And that reason woud be I don’t want you texting me anymore. I don’t appreciate the forwarded text [...]
OK, I get it. You’re very excited to see your friends. I understand that it must’ve been hard going a whole month without seeing your friends. But do you really, honestly NEED to tackle each other while screaming like two coked-up toucans? No. No you don’t. Listen carefully, you two. I was woken up very [...]
Now before I get started I would like to say that I am a very patient person with all people. But when you call when I just get home or scream from across the street at me the second I get out of the car then yes I do believe most people would want to [...]
you fucking whore. it makes my stomach turn just to think about you. i wish i would have known what a cock loving piece of shit you were before i moved in with you i would have reconsidered. ok so i am dating your ex. YOU TOLD ME THAT IT WAS OK!! besides you didnt [...]
Okay… I don’t want to embarrass you but honestly my deodorant… What’d I do to you to deserve it being quote unquote borrowed . Granted I didn’t hide it like I do my money but WHAT THE FUCK? I know were in a recession but damn.. The sad part is that I don’t know who [...]
Why is it that you can care for dogs but you always smell like shit. What is that? I mean if I was really REALLY wanting to smell shit, I’d take a dump into a plastic baggie and open it for maximum puke! So you always have dogs at home. Okay cool. We’re in a [...]
I just love how I get into trouble for stupid little things, but when my brother does things that are more serious than what I’ve done, he gets off with a little lecture. It’s like, he talks back to them all the time, but never gets into trouble. But, if I dare say something my [...]
Touchy feelies around the world you know how you are… the huggers ,squeelers, holders of hands, sneak up behind you wrap arounders, cheek kissers, and almost to the point of stalking friends… please leave me alone… I wake up in the morning knowing how you will react when you see me at school later that [...]
My love… the greatest joy in my life… I know you’re cheating on me… but what’s funny is that you don’t know I know… I was pissed at first …I actually was going to burn your shit or let you walk in with me and another guy probably one of your dick faced friends who [...]
Dear New Boss, it has come to my attention that you might feel intimidated or shy about being new and having to ask questions to the “worker bees” of the store. Really we understand that you can’t learn everything the first day or week you’re here… its ok.. But when it comes the time that [...]
So I made the mistake of looking at those photos, from your best friend’s wedding that fucking ended 6 months later, and it made me miss you even more. But it also got me thinking about all the people in the photos, and how I have no fucking idea why I ever cared about them [...]
Be yourself,and do what makes you happy.Nothing else matters in life…but… If you want to succeed in life,you gotta do the complete opposite.Unless you’re naturally an ass kisser who shits rainbows,you have to fall into that “standard”.Fuck you reality.Why couldn’t school teach something meaningful like that back then and warn me?That way,I actually would have [...]
I was the unassuming girl who walked out of Target with a new $25 giftcard for her favorite website so she could by gifts for her friends which are both coming up. Aforesaid giftcard fell out of my back pocket fell out of my pocket somewhere between the store I bought it in and the [...]
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Why the fucking fuck, do you insist upon this? If I wanted to go to the zoo, I would do it. Instead, the zoo comes to me. When I signed that lease, I didn’t mind your birds. They were quiet..until springtime at least, when they started shrieking every 10 minutes day and night. I would [...]
Why must you make the rest of us look bad?! I have traveled by means of the taxi, the motor vehicle, and bicycle. Drivers: No, I will not get on the fucking sidewalk as there are now fucking police on bikes everywhere who will fine me. No I will not fucking tolerate you parking on [...]
Okay, but excuse me? You’re not better than a single goddamn one of us? You’ve got a boyfriend that you’re clearly fucking the brains out of every two seconds, and what do you want from that? Are you expecting someone to go “Congratulations, you’re fucking someone who broke up with you to get college action [...]
Okay… So there is this amazing yogurt place where I live called Chilly Spoons. I decided I would go there with my dad after youth group. I invited some people but only one could go; his name is Kiko. So we agreed to meet up there. While I was on my way, my best friend, [...]
I wonder what those rappers mean when they say “Imma put it on you”. I get really, really bad images in my head and honestly, I dont think I want that on me. So please, Mr. Rapper, with your bitches & hoes, and your pink cadillac with big cartoonish wheels, if ever you thought or [...]
You think your soooo perfect. You get good grades, your rich as hell, and you dress as though your going to walk down a catwalk during fashion week in Milan!!! STOP IT!!!!! Nobody is perfect, so why do you try to be!!! It’s like your trying to embody the idea of perfection…..WTF!?!? All the guys [...]
……….. You fucking piece of shit cocksucker, owning an iMac does not make you smarter or cooler than an educated dumbass… dumbass. You’re looking down on me because I own a PC with Windows installed? You’re the fucking moron who bought a computer worth two grand to surf the fucking internet so quit your blow-me-bitch [...]
Really. people. LOOK WHERE YOUR FUCKING STANDING! no, i didn’t spend 4 hours using chalk to try and win a contest which you obviously have no clue about, i made it so you could stand on it and talk to your other ignorant friends. GET THE FUCK OFF MY ART. you better be glad i [...]
There once was a man from Florence Who…was pissed off becouse literally NOTHING rhymes with Floranne! FUCK!!
First of all I would like to say that not all women are the same, but the majority I have met are straight up bitches. Now, the problem might be me, but most people consider me to be a decent fella. I might have a rough exterior but I try to act like all people [...]
When I’m not driving, I totally appreciate you guys. You actually go out of your way to bike up huge hills and long distances, while I’ve never done that sort of thing. But when I AM driving, I pretty much hate you. Why? Because you bike in the middle of the fucking road and don’t [...]
There I am, in public, trying to have a decent conversation with my male friend. We’re surrounded by tons of people, and I am listening intently to his opinion on Obama when I glance down and notice his hand is stuffed in his pants, like some god sadistically destroying Testicle Town. What the fuck?! Get [...]
i work in a hotel. We are pet friendly as a courtesy to our guests. a lot of people see there pets as members of the family, as do i. I love my dog and take it places with me when i can. but please do not bring your fucking attack dog to a goddamn [...]
Dont Fucking yell at me and my boyfriend for being carnivores and complaining how the kitchen table had a splotch of blood from the meat! Even though he used the kitchen counter and a cutting board to cut the meat.It was your first time actually cleaning the kitchen table, which is not even your table [...]
Dear Customer, I am sad to inform you that you really are always wrong… I stand at my counter all day checking people out in line listening to your stupid complaints about how they sign said it was half price but its not ringing up that way and how horrible the lines are… Really? two [...]
It always happens. I will sit by myself because I can’t stand other people but then some idiot or bitch gets the notion that I am lonely and that I might need a friend. If some is sitting by themselves it usually they want to be left alone. Do I have to start putting up [...]
Really… what the hell… i wake up in the morning and turn on my cell phone which has been charging all night to come to a full fucking inbox of messages from your dumb ass saying “what cha doooooin?” “hey where r u?” “im bored” and “wake up!!!!”. What do you think im doing at [...]
Dear McdonaldsCustomer you need to grow up. so what the people in the back of the store messed up your sandwich, its called, “a mistake” you dont need to be dragging your fatass back up to the counter to have your sandwich remade because timmy in the back accidently added pickles on your McDouble. just [...]
Dear customer, I get that you’re old – it’s chill. However, being old means that you should have more ‘life experience’. And somewhere, in these many years of breathing and somehow, miraculously surviving – you’ve never read a fucking price tag!? I mean, I have to assume they’re foreign to you. Why else are you [...]
I’m a teenage girl who babysits the same children often. The boys are sweet and usually after lunch I take them to the playground to play. But you, fucking bitch, don’t see a family friend watching two small children. Oh no, you assume I’m a young mother with her spawn. Really? Are babysitters so rare [...]
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