Am I the only one who notices people’s atrocious sidewalk behaviors? People really suck. There is no such thing as courtesy anymore. I have noticed that if two people are walking together, they behave as if they MUST be side by side. They will not shift, move, hang back to let someone pass, or walk [...]

I go to work, right? And I have one simple task. This one simple task depends on a whole framework of other simple tasks being done adequately. Apparently, this is too difficult for other people to do. All that is required of you to do is to input some data [...]

Dearest Overprivileged Neighborhood Brats, Yeah, you. The ones with the effing huge yard. The 12-15 year olds clad in Dockers and polo shirts. The ones who like to leave bikes and scooters by the street sign in my corner yard. (Leave ‘em there overnight again, and you’ll find ‘em right where you [...]

Hey asshole, Stop showing up in my bed when I’m sleeping and putting your disgusting mouth all over me. It’s creepy. Every night when I go to bed I have the heebie jeebies cause I totally know you’re going to show up again, even though I’ve tried everything to keep you out. And you’re gone before [...]

I am a human male and I carry around a human baby all day. I am not a home body – I must get out of the house. Cooking sucks, so again, I must leave the house. When I leave the house, I have to be in public (because I am not in my house). I [...]

So for a while now, I’ve been stuck in the normal grind of going for certain girls, and then being asked out by other girls. For some reason beyond me, some people tell me that I should go for the ones that ask me out, because then I could be with someone and be [...]

Ok… So my dad’s a fairly good looking guy… and my mom is commonly referred to as a, (gagging at this shit) “cougar”… So its pretty safe to say, I’m a fairly good lookin guy my damn self. I’m 17. I dont really do the whole facial hair thing… Like Goatee’s n shit… Just [...]

About 5 months ago,I made a big mistake and I kick myself everyday for it. I had just started a new school and was feeling kind of shy and out of place. I was sitting in gym class by myself (it was early in the year so we weren’t doing anything) when all of a [...]

My dog has set the world record for passing gas today. At first I thought it was my wife, believe me if you knew her you would understand. So after much heated debate my wife and I zeroed in who the culprit was. So ten hours later and a complete ventilation of the house, my [...]

SUCK. MY. COCK. I’m sick of you. I hate your stupid scarves. ITS 90 DEGREES OUTSIDE. What the fuck? Are you cold?!?! And if you were, is that ripped up piece of plaid really keeping you warm? TAKE IT OFF. Also, I’m sick of your dumbass skinny jeans. Do any of you little boys have dicks?? Or [...]

I just want to say how much you will be missed around here. I know you have only been here going on 18 months now but all those little chats we trying to find a way to fit work in around your busy social schedule did mean so much to me. It will be no [...]

I am so fucking tired of how much kids at school bitch. I’m 17 years old, a junior in high school, and don’t give a fuck about what happened to you over the god damn weekend. I don’t care that you got pregnant, that you failed your math test, or how this girl that you [...]

You: filthy, garlic-hating, reflection-less, pointy-toothed seductress. Me: I should have known better, when you asked me if I could invite you in. That ride on the bus where we met should have been a clue as well… You kept looking at the hot gothic chick’s long neck sitting right in front of us. I thought it’s [...]

Aw, sad because your best lil buddy got a girlfriend/boyfriend? Now they spend more time with him/her because it is what makes them happy? And now all you do is get pissy in your lonesome, hate on them, drink consistently and hope to bob something happens so they break up, because you want everyone, especially [...]

We all know you don’t agree with “the way things are done around here.” And, yes, we all know that everyone except you is an idiot because one or more of their opinions, actions, wardrobe choices, or some other insignificant detail doesn’t exactly match up with your own exacting and perfect standards. We all know [...]

Yes, I see you there. Turning your headlights/brights on and off, revving your engine 3 inches behind me even though I am going the speed limit in the slow lane and you could pass me if you weren’t so lazy. A grin always comes across my face as I know that because I am prepared in life, [...]

Hi. I am GAY GAY GAY so fucking gay! Stop asking me about boys. it ain’t gonna happen

This to all of the Americans that are bashing Canada.So what if you won the hockey game.At least we CANADIANS can go almost anywhere in the world and not hated like you.We have a better health care system,it`s for all people,just not the rich,who can pay for it.We didn`t have a dumb fuck president,George W [...]

Okay,one of the newest slang phrases in the hip-hop community is “no homo”. Mostly younger guys say it to other guys when they’ve just said something that may question their sexuality. I just can’t make myself believe that they don’t realize that by adding “no homo” to the end of an uber-gay sentence just makes [...]

I’m a teenager, and im really fat. So today, when my P.E teacher said that we would be going to the gym for our lesson – I was really happy. We spent half an hour at the gym and I tried really hard to burn as many calories as possible. This was partly because I [...]

Ok I just have to ask, did the women’s rights movement actually happen? Or did I just dream about it in some crazy alcohol induced sleep? I ask because it seems like every woman I know has gone to college basically to meet a guy, has been given a $20k bond for their future (which is [...]

I want to make this clear right off the bat: I don’t care about couple pictures. The only thing that pisses me off is when people thing that’s it’s cute to show them and their partner making it out. So I’m sure everyone has seen this. You go on Myspace and you see [...]

I have been a Vancouverite my entire life, and tonight I was embarrassed to say that I was one because of the things I witnessed downtown on Granville Street. Canadian pride is one thing, but utter disrespect for those from other countries, especially those from the US, is another. I have been to celebrations all [...]

Hey all you talented spit eaters out there! You know how awesome it is when you drop a strand of saliva from your mouth, let it hang there, and suck it back up again? THAT’S FUCKING DISGUSTING! No one wants to see what the glands in your mouth produce every two seconds, and it’s not [...]

A new submission (form: “Sidebar Form (copy of form #2)”) I know the condition of the book you borrowed is not new, in fact, it may be the worst book we have, however, it is not a coaster! It is also not a paper plate or an ashtray. I am not a neat freak [...]

So you start going back out with your ex right ? You think everything will be great and this time it will work. Until you start talking in depth again, and every fucking time she always has to bring up the past. Like “hey remember wen we broke up and I trashed your shit?” or [...]

Do you think everyone is short? Here’s the deal, When I load and unload my dishwasher and when I stand up I bang my fucking head on the cabinet that is on the wall right under my dishwasher. Why the fuck didn’t you put the cabinet higher up so people like me won’t bang their head [...]

For two fucking years I have listened to you talk about your damn ex-boyfriend from 15 years ago that dumped you like a hot potato, your ex-best friend Jenny who went psycho on you and stalked you and various events from your pathetic life from your stinky armpits to your 30 year old virgin husband [...]

Just wanted to say to the skanks at the Kenny Chesney concert last night that someday you are going to get what you are asking for! I paid the same amount of money to watch the concert and have a good time but NO!, I couldn’t cuz your slutty asses were being idiots! I like [...]

I am a woman and I know there is a time and place for bitchiness. BUT when someone says “hi” to you, or attempts some form of perfunctory pleasantry PLEASE FOR THE LOVE OF GOD just fucking say “hi” back it will not kill you. Alternatively ignore them altogether. But do NOT turn around [...]

Every woman posting online says the same shit. “I’M FUN LAID BACK LIKE THE OUTDOORS WANT SOMEONE WHO WILL MAKE ME A BETTER PERSON” etc etc. Don’t you think it’s a little funny that you’re all looking for the same thing? I understand that women often say one thing, and mean about a million other [...]

If you stole the spray painted, piece-of-shit, blue cruiser from the corner of Orleans and Burgundy last night then FUCK YOU!!! If you are that desperate and pathetic to steal that junker you should just save everyone the trouble of your existence and jump off the fucking bridge. I’ve never lived in such a trashy [...]

im a waitress im tired of these needy people who have no care of the fact that maybe i have 6 , 4 tops just as just as freaking needy….yes i will get your water as soon as i deal with these people that have been here for a DAMN hour waiting on there [...]

We’re trying to get at least one solid rant out everyday and one video episode every week, but is it enough? Do you want more rants?

Hi ESPN, Remember the days when your flagship show, SportsCenter, was a charming and fresh way to give us objective sports scores and news? ONLY TO TURN INTO THE MOST BIASED AND UNBEARABLE SHOW ON EARTH! FUCK! THANKS, DISNEY! IT’S LIKE GETTING ASS-RAPED BY MICKEY MOUSE HIMSELF. Do you really see it as necessary to match every [...]

My neighbors and I would like to make a request of the city of Baltimore. It seems that our street has not been plowed.. not even from the storm LAST weekend. None of my neighbors or I have been able to go to work all week. Not because we did not dig ourselves out, but [...]

Roses are red Violets are blue Hey, St. Valentine’s Day Fuck You Rant Voicemail 002: O’Fallon MO

I was minding my own business, enjoying a beer on my porch, listening to the birds chirping from the trees, (I shot the bastards living in the eves of my house). Nice cool breeze for a change, suns going down and it’s time to party. The phone rings and it’s Mom… Well holly fuck! [...]

Why does everyone have to be so God Damn Racist? It’s first Black President this, and first Hispanic judge that. When they survey the number of teens getting knocked up each year, it’s split by race. Mexicans come in first, Blacks second, and white a distant third. If you are a waiter, [...]

Hotel Life: Uniforms Current mood: stressed Category: Jobs, Work, Careers I want to choke somebody out with my “ass-scott”. You know Fred from Scooby Doo? You know that little scarf he has tied around his neck that makes him look super masculine? Yea, I get to wear that. Jealous of me? My bosses know this is a [...]

This is our first rant by voicemail! What’s your rant? Call us at (512) 850-6239.

I had this woman sociology professor a few years back, she taught “the sociology of aging”. She was/is somewhat elderly herself. In a nutshell, her material covered how personal relationships drastically change as one approaches and enters their golden years. Alienation from family, the loss of friends, etc. ect. blah blah blah. Society, in my [...]

I date men because I don’t want an ex-girlfriend. See, that’s the beauty of it. Men fuck you and move on. YES. That’s what they do. And it’s great and I love it, because I like being able to move on, too. Yeah? Yeah. So, today, when you became a jealous ex-girlfriend instead of an [...]

When I hear someone snoring away (my mom, my husband, people who fall asleep in public places), I try to have empathy for them, but in reality I want to strangle them. The choking and sputtering does more than just wake me up when I’m sleeping; the sound is like a knife in my soul’s [...]

Please stop knocking on my door every time you don’t have anything to do. I know you have a lot of issues around feeling lonely, but you’re a grown woman. Quite frankly, the reason you’re lonely is because you act like a crazy bitch and that tends to drive people away. Anytime you wanna [...]

What is up with people in San Francisco and flip flops? Are you stupid or just too lazy to put on some shoes? It is not a tropical wonderland. Most days it is cold by the afternoon. So at the first signs of sunshine you feel the need to run [...]

Hey there, scratch-off guy. Funny seeing you again. Seems like every time I stop at my local Kwik trip you are at the counter redeeming your winning scratch-offs. What’s that? You won $5 with that batch? Super! Only cost you $15, so that’s not a total wash, is it? Now if I could just pay for [...]

What the fuck is wrong with drivers on the Cape? Granted, the people that piss me off the most are most likely tourists from Boston/the rest of New England. I’m from Syracuse, NY and have been coming to the Cape every year since I was born. I love everything about this place except the people [...]

Dear sir/madame/miscreant, First of all I have to say that your shared sense of entitlement baffles me from the bridezillas bragging about their budgets and then not wanting to pay for basics like “save the date cards” to the overbearing bat mitzvah throwers and trollops masquerading as working girls I can’t get over how every [...]

So yesterday, I was attempting to drive down a side street, and I was behind a car that pulled over to the curb to park. I had to stop and wait for the person to get out because the idiots on that street cannot figure out how to move their cars to the other side [...]

ok so i just had this thought- your shitpop and other music on the radio stations is like processed foods. produced with a huge recipe absolutely sold to everyone shamelessly un-unique satisfying, yet not nourishing horrible for you! i know you don’t care, but i feel bad that i can’t help those who haven’t had the [...]

What a pathetic human space exploring performance since the Moon Landings of 40 years ago. .. All the great momentum we built up during the 1960’s was lost and squandered. .. It took only about 9 years to reach the moon once we decided to do it. .. All the great engineers and workers drove [...]

Bonus points to this rant for ranting about one grammatical pet peeve while offending another Their, There, and They’re: I realize they’re all synonyms but is it seriously that hard? Here is how it works. “They’re” is a contraction, it means “they are”. It’s used when talking about people. Such as: “They’re not too bright, are they?” “Their” is used [...]

Okay… I just changed my schedule at work and now get up one hour earlier. I was very much looking forward to this happening for a while for a number of reasons. One major one is that traffic isn’t as bad, most of the neighbors haven’t woken up along with their mewling kids, yapping dogs, [...]

I must admit you had me fooled. The tattoos that cover both of your arms look like you must have endured some serious pain in order to share your love of pin-up girls and Asian culture with the world. To my chagrin, you also love watching football instead of cuddling or staring blissfully into my [...]

I have have been a dutiful employee at your small business for three years. During that time I’ve learned many things, including what a complete fucking idiot you can be! What you think is a great product doesn’t necessarily mean that anyone else on the God damned planet agrees with you. And when you go [...]

Hi ladies. It’s me, your friendly neighborhood lesbian. I want to say that although I enjoy our friendship I don’t want to kiss you, grope you or make out with you at a party!!! Christ! Why do you think that I, want to taste your Smirnoff Ice and dorito breath at 2 am! I know [...]

I don’t think I can actually physically put across just how much of a bitter single person I am. BUT FOR GOOD REASON! Couples. Everywhere. I’m sometimes scared that when I wake up in the morning, there’ll be a loved up couple at the end of by bed making out. Couples look at you like [...]

So I work at a automobile dealership and I just don’t get it! People come in ALL the time for service unprepared. They will have a complaint about a noise, but cant explain when it happens or where it’s coming from. Do these people think that the technician have magic powers? Or better yet can [...]

I was a happy successful practcing trial lawyer, but working too hard amongst other things I became depressed to the point I ended up on Social Security Disability. I recovered fairly well after a few years and tried to go back to work, but all anyone wanted to know was why I had a several [...]

Why do my neighbors think that the street is an appropriate baby sitter for their toddler-10 year olds? Kids are meant to play in backyards. It’s safe. Fenced in. There are toys there – slides, pools, jungle gym type things. But no. They’d rather stand around like fucking doofuses, collectively yelling “Car!” when an auto comes [...]

Why do you feel the need to talk LOUDLY on your cell phone while you are sitting on a fucking bus ???? I don’t want to hear about your work day. I don’t want to hear what happened on your date last night. I don’t want to hear your horrible nasty voice arguing with your [...]

I don’t give a flying fuck about your opinion. Sharing your recycled, ill informed opinion on matters you haven’t the slightest clue about is just a waste of your calories and my time. Due to stress caused by so many people like you, I smoke cigarettes, and have therefore shortened my life expectancy. I don’t [...]

Really. I hate it. It turns into a fight every time. Every time my partner wants sex I either resist or go through the motions obviously not enjoying myself. I don’t want it to feel like work, but it does. I’d rather just give some oral and be done with it quick, forget about my own orgasm. [...]

Okay no one wants to work in a shop right? yeah I’ll tell you why because you HAVE to stand there smiling at fucking boring people who are too rude to smile back! They stand there gazing into space while you pack their fucking shopping FOR THEM and don’t even say thank you. OR they [...]

I am a young person (mid-thirties) in a 55+ community in Florida. These people have multimillion dollar mansions on the beach, Lamborghinis, and domestic servants. Yet they still get out their calculators to give a waiter exactly 15% of the bill. Sometimes, I’ve gotten a tip of $10.98. Really? It’s okay to overtip by two [...]

I’m am so sick of you coming to my house parties with your stripper friends and ruining my parties. Cmon really do you have to be the drunkest person there. We all know you arn’t really that drunk, weather it’s smoking the other end of your ciggaret or flashing you vajay jay at random strangers [...]

I am so tired of the bullshit and the drama. It’s like some people live for the shit. But I don’t think that they notice it because they like it in small doses. It’s like any little thing that they can get and dwell on and talk about endlessly they will. Drama is nothing but [...]

I get that you feel it’s necessary to make the presence of a baby in your car known to the world -perhaps to encourage other drivers to exercise extra caution when merging and passing. Maybe it’s so people don’t flip you off and expose her to the world’s harsh realities all too soon. Well [...]

I can’t stand it when random men want to have sex with me before they know anything about me. You, though, I’ve known you for a long time and you are just as picky as I am. That’s probably what makes us such good friends. You don’t react first to my pretty face, but to [...]

I’ve always remembered bop-it as a beloved toy of my childhood. I would spend hours playing with my bop-it and my parents would be able to spend a quiet afternoon without my incessant whining for something to do. Now, I go to Target, and the bop-it has a new feature. It’s not the [...]

Rants from spambots are kind of weird: Balance Strange,economic interview settle actual fund liberal heavy capable solicitor when up aye size aid study both conduct reply cabinet free ship aim big resource publish often announce government once manner late great continue own such skill spend spot world strike earth everything brief clothes bedroom combination example debate [...]

I’m so sick and tired of seeing and this emo shit every where I go. The stupid hair cuts, men with extremely tight jeans, the horrible make up, shitty over priced Hot Topic clothes, the whiny ass music that’s taken over the radio. When will enough be enough? Stop whining and slitting your wrists because [...]

To the old man who got out of his car after he drove his car over a street light. I know I’m not supposed to critique you because your old and we should respect our elders, but there comes a time when you have to realise it’s time to FUCKING STOP DRIVING! What The Hell! [...]

To my boss who mistakenly thinks I’m a mind reader, You’re a busy person, I know. So busy, in fact, that you can’t seem to come into the office ever, leaving me here all alone. No, don’t worry, that’s fine. Just, don’t send emails asking me to do things you never taught me to do and [...]

Why do slow people (old people mostly) drive in the left hand lane? The left hand lane is the fast lane, the passing lane, the hammer lane. It is not the “oh its saturday afternoon I think I’ll take a nice slow country drive in the left hand lane of this pretty road” lane. [...]

If one more of you preppy straight girls tells me that I fancy you I’m going to snap. And its never the pretty ones….I hate to say it but bitch get over yourself. There are plenty of gay women out there and guess what theyre hotter than you! If one more of you slowly explains [...]

Ok, I just have one little problem. Your sex life. Its yours ok? We’re friends and that nice. But I do not need to know about your boyfriend’s magic fingers and tongue. Ok? I don’t need to know exactly how many pelvic thrusts it takes the guy to climax. Or that you went 4 times [...]

I don’t give a shit about how awesome your computer is. Just because I use a fucking PC doesn’t mean that every time you see me has to turn into a debate. I’m glad the Mac’s “sleek” lines and “sexy” software turns you on, but frankly, I don’t give a damn. Get a room! I [...]

Why do friends ask for your honest opinion for about every single thing? and if the honest answer isnt what they want to hear then they get pissy and don’t talk to you for a week. BUT if you do lie and say something they want to hear they know your lieing and STILL get [...]

Note to drivers who stick below the speed limit: Fuck off out of the left lane. You might have missed this in traffic school, being as you took the driving test back before turn indicators had been invented, but the left lane is for overtaking. It’s not there so you can slide up alongside another senior [...]

Ok, so about 10+ years ago, I got a job at a MAJOR theme park in the Orlando area. It sucked. The hours were long, the people were annoying, and the pay was awful. However, if I had stayed there, when I hit my 5 years of service I would have been in the $10.50 [...]

Please realise that just because you and I had sex 2 weeks ago, I am not exactly in love with you. When I say hi to you don’t freak out and hug the nearest girl to you. When I talk to you on facebook, don’t bring up that your talking to your ex. When I [...]

What the fuck is with the god damn peace sign?So what now you want to be cool and care about world peace?Just becuase you can wear sunglasses that are WAY too FUCKING big for your tiny head and make peace sign?Now it’s fucking SWEET to love peace.WHAT HAVE YOU FUCKING DONE TO DESERVE TO WEAR [...]

I’m not scared to say this, FUCK THE DOORS. Yeah they had a couple of good songs. But they really weren’t that good over-all. If I hear one more person say that Jim Morrison was a poet I think I’ll fucking shoot myself. He was as much a poet as I am a [...]

I can’t fucking stand men’s public restroom. I swear there is not a place in any men’s public restroom that hasn’t been pissed on. If you go in there to take a shit you better be prepared to squat on some random person’s piss. God forbid it is an emergency shit and you don’t have [...]

It’s too fucking easy to get your license in this country. Why would you give a license to someone who has never experienced what it’s ;like to drive on ice or snow a license to drive a car in a state where it snows? Licenses should be granted on a scale. One based on your [...]

I don’t fucking care what you ate for breakfast, what you worked on in the gym, about your thoughts on politics, where you’ve been, where you’re going, where you’re at, or what you are doing RIGHT THIS SECOND. I don’t need a minute by minute update of what’s going on with you. GET A LIFE!!! “Joe [...]

Art sucks. Fuck it. How can you like something that is completely based on perspective?! I mean, for fucks sake, Warhol made just as good stuff before he was famous and none of THAT get’s known. My teacher is a wonderful artist and he’s painting with dirt for gods sake! It’s incredible! But for some [...]

I tried to give you credit. It must be hard to back to school after all those years. I tried to like you, really. But every FUCKING time you open your mouth, a noxious cloud of stupidity escapes that is so potent, it manages to choke every pitying feeling that I have for you. In [...]

Anyone know where I can get a fucking can opener that really opens cans? I’ve spent over $200 in the last few months trying to find a fucking can opener that lives up to it’s name. Just want a non-electric, who gives a shit if it’s a “safe” edge opening can opener. Although great for opening beer [...]

Hey, fucker! There’s a little thing you may have heard of recently invented called a stop sign. They apply to anyone in any mode of transportation that utilizes a public road with one of these signs posted. they are a big read octagon with bold white letters in the center that says “STOP.” Ever seen [...]

First of all, if you’re on my tail when I’m already doing 75 mph and in the process of passing another vehicle on the freeway… get the FUCK off my shit. It’s obviously your problem if that isn’t fast enough for your stupid ass. To you people, I say… one of these days, when I’m [...]

So what the fuck….SO today i went for a run like i always do when i get off work. And at the end of my run im tired…i ran out of water…and i’m like 2 blocks from home. So I crossed the street and this cop totally blows his lights and pulls me over to [...]

Dear Human race with the exception of my immediate family, I am over you and all of your self absorbed, idiotic, bullshit. Sure at first I thought all of the stupid fucking shit you all like to pull on a regular basis was cute, funny, and even entertaining. But your stupidity has become old, stale, [...]

I’m so sick of this fucking rain. I work all week, 40+ hours. I get up, take care of my kid and my dog, get ready, fight traffic, go to work, sit there all day, leave at 5, fight traffic, come home and immediately start dinner, clean up, and relax for a few minutes before [...]

Fuck Scummit County, fuck the high cost of living, fuck the cold, fuck the sun, fuck gapers, fuck the maggots. Fuck all of you. Fuck your 6th generation colorado natives, go suck an indian’s cock you motherfucker. Fuck your first day transplants fuck everyone in between. Fuck your boyfriend, fuck your girlfriend, fuck your mom. [...]

What the hell is wrong with you people? You think that if you name your girl Chandler or Piper or Plumber or whatever that you’re headed for glorified WASPdom? Just because Crate and Barrel named a sofa after it, doesn’t mean it’s a good name for a little girl. Anyone ever fucking notice that the [...]

This one’s for You. Yeah, You. The boy I dated when I was 15, my first love, be it puppy love or whatever. I gave my heart away to You, but we were just too young. We dated for the better part of year; a very rough and emotional year for [...]

I would like to inform everyone of a couple things. I work at a Subway, and I just want to punch people in the face sometimes!!! When you pull up to the menu board at the Subway drive thru the damn speaker inside comes on, and we keep it very loud. So for all you [...]